I was told this evening by a friend that I should be a mentor. This was after a round of advice giving, which I seem to do more often than I care to count. He didn’t exactly clarify what or who I would mentor, but it got me to thinking. I’ve always been the kind to give good, sage advice and for a brief time I wanted to be an advice columnist. I just like to help people with their problems, and although I don’t hold any advanced degree, I some how have acquired a firm understanding of humans and their behavior. I’m a friggin’ well of useful advice. My main area of expertise is relationships. Ironic. I guess after being batted around as much as I have, I’ve been given a keen perception into the workings of  the human heart.

So, I’m going to give this a shot once more. I offer you, my readers, access to my mind. If you have a problem of any kind, ask me. If you just need someone to sound off on something for some feedback. Here I am. If you don’t know which way to turn, tell me where you’re stuck and maybe I can show you a new path. I’m not saying I have all the answers, but I do have a sympathetic ear. I don’t want to play with people’s lives, but if you have a problem you feel you’re more comfortable sharing with a third party, I will hear you out and offer some well thought out insights. I want to turn this blog into an advice blog! So, don’t be shy. Message me your issue and I will give you my thoughts in a caring and compassionate manner. I’m still trying to figure this out. I want to find a way where you could message me privately and I would share the problem anonymously along with my advice. I’ll figure that one out, but if anyone out there is brave enough to give this experiment a try, I welcome you!


Anyone with a drug or medical issue, I will tell you right off seek a counselor or doctor. I cannot offer any medical or legal advice.

First Of 2014

Six days in and my first blog. I figured I should have put something up the first day, but unfortunately I was a bit distracted. It seems my new year started up with a bit of drama. The guy I had been seeing for nearly 2 years pulled a major dick move last month. After claiming I was so important to him and after countless pledges to work on  this relationship, he decided to move on with some new guy and I was the last to know. This caused me great anger, needless to say. After over a year of hearing how busy he was and how impossible it was to spend time together, I turn around and he’s having no problems finding the time to hang out with this new guy. They even ran off to Palm Springs for the weekend after only having met one week earlier. They spent his birthday together. It just boils my blood when I think about it. And this new guy is a step down from me. I’m no narcissist, but I feel I can say confidently I am way better looking than he is so this new match is kind of weird, but after being enlightened to a few other facts I was not aware, I guess it seems he likes bigger guys. I guess that’s good on me. I wasn’t fat enough.

In the long run, I know I’m better off. The relationship wasn’t that great. We hardly saw each other and the more I found out about him, the less I liked honestly. He was a snob and an elitist and he didn’t give a damn about anyone but himself and was proud of that fact. I hate how everyone at my bar thinks he’s this great guy. They only think that because he pays for all the drinks. If they knew who and what he really is, they would be singing another tune, but I can’t be the one to tell them. I don’t want to be ‘that guy’, although I guess I just turned into him because of what I just told you. I forgive myself though. I had to get it out. It feels good to finally say the words.

It was also a bit of my fault too. The moment I chose to accept being the lowest priority in his life, I put the target on my back. I told him that I didn’t care enough about myself to demand more respect than what I deserved. I just don’t know why he let it continue on as he did. He should have broke it off when I said ‘I love you’ to him, but instead he said it back to me. Of course he later claimed that he didn’t remember any of that. Classic deflection. Make me look like the crazy one. I didn’t want to see it, but now I can’t avoid the fact that he was and continues to be a despicable excuse for a human being. He uses and abuses with impunity and after he’s created the catastrophe, he simply walks away, brushing off the dusty and leaving the clean up to everyone else while he continues to party.

I wanted to move forward in my life with him as a partner, but he just wants to stay behind and continue to act like a child. In time, his true nature will be seen and his cover will be exposed and I think by then he’ll be ready to move on to some new place and work his wicked magic once more. I’m not bitter. Don’t think that. I’m actually kind of getting back into the dating scene with a few bright prospects already, but I just want the truth to be known for the official record. I hate when people treat others like garbage and act like it’s fine. It isn’t fine. If you lie, cheat or otherwise betray someone you claim to care about, you should be punished. It’s not fair for only one of you to feel the pain. I can’t physically harm him because he’s not worth going to jail for and there’s nothing I can say to him that will hurt him because he doesn’t care what anyone thinks about him. He’s out of reach to me, but that’s not to say I can’t use what resources I have at my disposal to try and attain some measure of peace. This feels good. I’ve gotten a lot of poison out, and I thank those who have read this all.

The news isn’t all bad though. The new year has brought some new sales of my books and a few good reviews for ‘Spectrum’ which now stands at a 4 star status on Amazon. I’m hoping that this will be a continuing momentum into 2014. I even got my first fan letter. It was very exciting. I think maybe this year will be good. I dropped the old garbage and I’ve got some bright prospects to enjoy and my book is slowly moving forward. Things feel kind of right.

Christmas Story

A friend suggested I do this and since I tried something like this once before with some success, I’ll give it a go.

This is an excerpt from my Christmas novel ‘Trapped’. The first chapter in fact. If you like, please let me know, or better yet, follow the link below and order yourself a copy. It’s available in paperback or digital, whichever is your preference. (btw, the formatting is off here. It looks much better in book form.)

Happy reading and merry Christmas

Chapter 1

The morning air was crisp and cool as Daniel Tucker awoke on the morning of the first day that was widely considered the beginning of the holiday season. He could feel something in the air and it sent a surge of energy through him. It was Christmas.

He stretched under the warm comfort of his covers and quietly assessed his day. It was Monday and he had a full schedule ahead of him. The reason for his unusually hectic schedule was because he had a mission that had to be completed before Christmas. He had been unable to be with his family for Thanksgiving, but he was determined that he would make it up to them for Christmas.

Thanksgiving was always a throw away as far as he was concerned. He just considered it a fancy dinner, but his mother always sent him a care package of leftovers so he could enjoy the meal she made whether he could be with them or not. He appreciated the gesture, but felt it needless.

Christmas was another matter completely. They were always together for Christmas since he was a boy. No matter how far the twists and turns of fate may have sent them, they always managed to reconnect just in time for the one day at the end of December. His brother Chad nearly missed them three years earlier. He had been accepted into a university in England and despite his heavy load of course work and daunting distance, he finally appeared on their doorstep the morning of Christmas Eve. It seemed no matter where life took them, or what stood in their way; the Tucker family was destined to be together for Christmas and this was a fact that Daniel took great comfort in.

Daniel’s alarm clock suddenly clicked on and the strains of Christmas music filled his bedroom. Normally he would openly express his dislike for Christmas music, but once the holiday season began, for some reason he no longer disliked it. In fact, it could be said he enjoyed it. He settled back into his bed and tried to enjoy his last few moments of rest before he had to get ready for work.

Daniel quickly dressed and was hurrying to get out the door in order to get to work on time. He found it amusing to himself the way he worried about being on time. He was a VP at Halpron Enterprises and on the fast track to becoming the youngest member of the executive board. He was no longer subject to the same scrutiny that he was hired under. He was good at what he did and that gave him the trust and support of his superiors, but in the back of his mind he kept his original work ethic and that meant getting to work on time.

Daniel blustered in through the glass doors of the office and as he strode through, he greeted everyone with a bright smile. He suddenly stopped and took a thoughtful look around the office. It seemed cold and colorless.

“Where are the decorations?” He asked Linda Lipinski, his assistant, as he approached his office.


“Yes. For Christmas?”

“Mr. Halpron issued a memo saying that there was to be no decorating this year. He says that it’s too distracting for everyone and it takes away from the work momentum.”

“That’s crazy!”

“That’s what he said.”

“Is he in?”

“No. He also sent a memo stating that he would be leaving for an extended vacation starting today. He won’t be back until after Christmas.”

“So, he’s not going to be here.”


“Get the decorations out of storage.”

“He’s going to have people monitoring us.”

“Just get the decorations and I’ll handle Halpron.” Daniel said as he continued on his way to his office.

It was nearly noon and the entire office had been transformed. Gold and silver garlands were hung along all the cubicles. Shining paper stars were hung from the ceiling and multi-colored lights were strung along all the doorways. Christmas music was drifting through the air and everything just seemed a little warmer. Employees had broken out their holiday personal items. A few were sipping from novelty mugs with reindeer antlers for handles. Susan Messing had arranged a small Christmas village on her desk with some small odds and ends that she kept stored in one of her filing drawers. Daniel looked out upon the holiday cheer and felt the warm glow he felt when he awoke that morning grow even stronger. He retreated to his office. As he sat down behind his desk, his door flew open and Ed Skivac came barreling in.

Ed had a reputation in the office as being the resident brown noser. He was always first in line to congratulate Mr. Halpron on every one of his ‘brilliant’ ideas in hopes of getting the next big promotion, but was usually overlooked by someone far more qualified. He’d been gunning for Daniel’s position for sometime, but lost out and was still a bit irked by it. There had been some animosity between Daniel and Ed for a time, but that tension wore down to a grudging respect but Daniel still didn’t trust Ed any further than he could throw him.

“Mr. Halpron has ordered there be no holiday decor. Do you ever read your memos?” He asked sharply.

“Look, Ed, it’s Christmas. Creating a vacuum environment where we don’t acknowledge it is not going to make everyone more productive. It brings them down. Depresses them. Look at it out there.” Daniel said as he got up and pointed out his window to the office. Ed watched and it was a scene of bustling activity. Phones were ringing and being answered. Papers were being handed from one person to another. It was commerce. It was happening and at quite a dizzying pace. Daniel turned back to Ed.

“When people are happy, they enjoy their work more, and therefore, will work harder. Mr. Halpron doesn’t need to know about this, does he?” Ed seemed a bit confused.

“I promised him I would tell him what was going on in here. If he finds out that…” Ed continued.

“He won’t.” Daniel said soothingly. “He doesn’t have to know about any of this.”

Ed froze and suddenly a stern sneer crossed his face. His eyes became steely and determined.

“Mr. Halpron’s orders stand! Whether he’s here or not, he is still in charge!” Ed said confidently. “I’m going to report back about all of this, and after that, it’s in his hands.” Ed said, pointing upwards with his eyes. He then started towards Daniel’s door. Daniel shot his arm out and caught Ed by his neck.

“According to your files, you’re up for a big raise, Ed.”


“I have to tell you, I know who’s making the final decision on that and it could go either way.”

“Are you threatening me?”

“No. I’m just saying if you were to do a favor for me, I could do a favor for you. You keep quiet about all this holiday stuff, and I may be able to put a little influence on someone and get you that raise.” Daniel said. Ed considered him briefly.


“Don’t worry. You’ll get it.” Ed looked away and Daniel could hear the wheels turning. He looked over at Daniel.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Good enough. You get back to me before the end of the day.”

“I will.” Ed said and then walked away quietly.

If you want to read more, comment, or follow the link to purchase your own copy.

or in paperback:


IT’S HERE!!!!!!


Spectrum is here at last! I have literally waited for this very day for so long. Long before the book was accepted for publishing. I have been waiting for this day ever since I got the stupid notion of being a writer. It’s taken many forms and has changed scenarios over the years, but the one thing remains solid. I succeed. I know it’s small press, but there are so many great and popular authors who started out in small press and grew and I think I have what it takes to become like them. This is just the beginning.

This is kind of a validation for all the hours I spent hunched over my laptop banging out page after page of my imagination. There’s a little disappointment to this I admit. I mean, it’s like Christmas. You wait all year long to open that one present you think you can’t live without and you know your parents got it for you. You daydream about what it’s going to be like to have it at last. You think of all the ways your life will be different with this one, irreplaceable treasure, and then the day comes. The package is slid before you and it’s n ever felt closer. You tear through the packaging and your heart races. You can see the box through the torn paper and you can barely believe what you have in your arms. It is  yours at last! Free and clear! But, after you open it up and a few hours have passed, it doesn’t shine as bright anymore. You still love it and it’s still going to enhance your life, you just can’t really get as excited about it as you were before you had to wait for it. That little bit of depression sinks in, and that’s kind of what I feel a bit today. It’s over. The wait is over and now it’s time to find the next thing to wait for. Although I’m hoping for a few more surprised down the road with this one. A shining review in Entertainment Weekly would be spiffy. A good review in any major publication would be great. A little good press.  I think I could set this world on fire, I really do. I just need to be able to cash in on my fifteen minutes. I think the Kardashians are hogging all the fame minutes for themselves.

Anyway, I just wanted to share my joy and ask all my followers to go out (or stay in. You can buy it online too) and get a copy of ‘Spectrum’, and if you do and you read it, please be sure to leave a review. Hopefully a good one at that. 🙂 Thank you. BTW, I would like to thank my followers on this blog. I get such a thrill everytime I get a ‘like’ or someone new follows the blog. It’s good to know someone out there is reading this stuff. Makes me feel just a little less insane. Thanks for that.


New Review!!!!!

The new review. Maybe this my entice some. NOTE: I did not write this review. It was posted by a new reader, and FYI, I got a new good review for the sequel. Just sayin’. So if you’re a fan of ‘Supernatural’ or ‘True Blood’, maybe this would be of interest to you. Book 4 is coming soon btw.

Demon Hunters: ASIN: B006LBQXKS

‘The hero is a bit of a slacker, but is a decent guy with a horrible upbringing filled with loss. He is also possessed by a demon. Well, he is partially possessed in the sense that he controls the demon and enjoys the benefits of strength and healing. His ancestors were cursed, and it takes Ivar, a mystic and researcher, to track down Jake Corba and fill him in on a little family history. Jake must face the past and deal with the present, thus an adventure begins. There are demons, angels, zombies, fae, and other creatures in this book. Oh yea, Heaven is misplaced for a spell, too. There are a couple jump points in the book, but the story all makes sense. Ivar is absent from the book for a bit (no cliffhanger or spoiler on this) and that part of the story was interesting as well. The book is pretty clean for you discerning types out there.’

Check the book out here :


The Thundermans

All right, right off the top, I need to own my shame on this one. I admit it. I am acquainted with the current landscape of tween/teen entertainment offered by The Disney Channel and Nickelodeon. I am an unapologetic SpongeBob fan, but that’s not what is at issue today. Recently a new show has premiered on Nick called The Thundermans. It’s yet another pathetically idiotic kid-com about a family of superheroes. I just  happened to catch the premiere and after a week of procrastinating, I’m ready to talk about it. The show in concept is interesting. It’s kind of a riff off of Wizards Of Waverly Place with superheroes replacing wizards. As far as execution, things start heading down. The acting is sub standard, which is par for the course with these shows and the writing is even worse. There are canned laughs, but unfortunately there are no jokes. When did random, non-sequitor statements replace jokes? The two teen leads have a semi-believable chemistry as sister and brother while the younger kids are of course overly sarcastic and are clearly meant to be the show pieces in every scene they’re in. The parents are once more two dopes who don’t seem to know what is going on in their kids’ lives and are only there to serve as foils for the children’s schemes.

This is unfortunately  the way most of these shows are these days. I remember once upon a time I actually found a certain charm and enjoyment with shows like these. I actually liked “That’s So Raven” and “Phil Of The Future” was very enjoyable. Ever since ‘iCarly’ all these shows seem to have taken a major downturn. The writing is lazy. The characters are one-dimensional and the actors, both young and not so young, are horrible. The only bright spot in this storm of mediocrity would be “Good Luck Charlie”. The show could have done more with its concept, but despite that, the writing is better than most other shows and the cast does not seem as though they just came from some high school production. Most shows for children these days seem to be taking the low road. They are plagued with simple minded jokes that could only appeal to children younger than five and I’ve noticed that parental figures keep getting pushed to the back. Let’s not forget, these characters are still children and conventional wisdom would dictate that the parents would be, or should be, active in their lives. I remember one show had cast Nancy McKeon as the leads mom, and it was a good fit, but alas, she only had her mother for one episode. I’d like to see a  show with parents, any parents, who are not only present, but are also not idiots who let their kids walk all over them. I’d like to see a show that actually tried to be good. Raise the bar, for Gods sake!

I know. It’s shocking that I would have this strong an opinion of children’s programming, but as I see this generation grow up, I can see that a lot of how they are is influenced by the media, for better or worse. There was a time that these shows tried to set a  better example.


I move through the bustling crowd of strangers and my eyes witness a world I do not seem to be welcome to. I fail to fall into the general assertion of what makes a person worthy. My clothes fit different from them and my physicality runs against theirs. I am a stranger among strangers. I do not care, though, to follow the crowd. I choose not to be slave to what is agreed to be current and stylish. I have chosen my own path. I find my own beauty in this ever changing world, for I can be only who I am, no more, no less. I offer my world to others and it is there for you to accept or deny. If you cannot abide me in your life, I will gladly leave, but are you prepared to make that choice? If you can see beyond what you see and feel beyond what you feel, you will know who and what I truly am and in that revelation, you will know the worth I can bring to your life as well. The indescribable treasures I can offer are many, but only available to those strong enough and open enough to find them.

What the…?

Okay. Must vent. I was just watching The Colbert Report and he spoke of something referred to as ‘dinosaur erotica’. For a second I thought he was joking, but then I dashed onto and checked and lo and behold, he was right. There are many books in this genre in fact. I’m not going to review them, as I will not read them, but much to my surprise, they are receiving praise. Mostly from people who think they’re a joke, which they might be, but they seem like they were written as real erotic novels, with dinosaurs.

What makes me mad is that these people are getting boatloads of orders for their books now because of this single moment in the spotlight. They crank out these short stories (19-20 pages per), sell them for 2.99 and now they’re laughing all the way to the bank, while I toil for months on one of my books and it’s like pulling teeth trying to publicize them and to get any sales. UUURRRGGGHHH!!! So is this the lesson? Write something so impossibly stupid no one will believe it’s real and you’ll succeed? It feels like at some point the whole world flipped over on its side and what I thought was true, hard work paying off and the rewards of effort, became false and now we reward those who put in the least amount of effort and work into their endeavors. Reality television rules the airwaves. The Kardashians don’t seem to be losing steam. People who generally choose the low, easy road win. It just feels like after every generation we dig ourselves deeper into this hole. We keep showing the generation after us that it’s best to take the shortcuts. Why work hard for years when you can have everything you want right now and all you have to do is betray everything you are? Until we start demanding better from the world, it’s only going to get worse. Keep in mind now we have television shows where you watch other people watching reality TV. You have shows where the content is just commenting on celebrities tweets about current events and other shows that just show videos from off the internet. If you think we can do better, then step up and let your voice be heard.

One’s Worth

I was up last night and unfortunately I was thinking. I was thinking about my life and my path and where I am versus where I could be and out of all that big thinking I began to wonder why we as a society place the value of what we do with our lives on the money we receive to do it. Some of the highest paid people out there do horrible things while the lowest do work that brings us all up as people. I mean, I’m doing what I want with my life, but I feel worthless because I have no steady income. I’ve been looking for work for over a year now and I guess getting a job filing  papers will make me feel better about myself than finishing a 30+ chapter book or new script simply because there’s a check in it for me. It’s something we’re conditioned with, I guess, because I really do feel completely worthless without a job to go to. Everyone else goes out and takes on their role as a productive member of society and I’m stuck at home doing my writing, or at least I try. This week has been real bad for me.

This was just something that ran into my brain and forced me to write it out.