Words We Must Remove 2

Okay, it’s been a while, but I’ve been trying to compile more words that need to be abolished. It’s a full time job.

The next word on my list is one I have had an issue with for some time now. and, (drumroll)

Bro.

Yes, ‘Bro’. There is no word in the slang culture that curdles my blood more. First, whenever anyone says it, they sound like a colossal douche. I know some of you frat guys out there don’t think I could possibly mean you, but I do. I mean you more than anyone else. You don’t see it, but if you could you would see how completely insufferable you sound when you say this to your friends. It’s really annoying when you say it to someone you just meet. If I meet you and you call me bro, you will be corrected. We are not brothers. We are not related and turn your baseball cap the right way around, with the bill sticking out over your eyes. That’s why they put it there. To block the sun. Or wear your sunglasses. Choose one! You look so stupid when you wear both. I’d also like to have a little English lesson here because I have heard this in Youtube videos. When you see this ‘Bros.’ it is pronounced ‘Brothers’. The period indicates it’s short form for brothers. The whole word. It is ‘Super Mario BROTHERS’. Not ‘Super Mario Bros’. You aren’t cool when you shorten words like that. You just sound like you don’t know how to speak English and your parents are flushing their hard earned money away on whatever school you’re going to. You read the books and take the tests. How about showing off that fancy education by speaking like an actual human being? The party ends after college. It really does. There are higher expectations of you.

Words We Must Remove

There are some terms in our culture that I think need to be taken away and buried for the rest of time. These words make me die a little every time I see or hear them. I will be continuing this list over time because I haven’t bothered to list them all right now, but for now I’ll let’s start the ball rolling with:

Hack.
Okay. Hack. Now when I was a lad, that word was used in connection to people who would hack into computers and computer systems. That use is valid and fine. However today we have the term ‘Life Hack’ which has now been shortened to simply ‘Hack’. Figuring out that those Chinese food boxes can be unfolded to become plates for your food is not a hack! It’s just a little convenience that was discovered. You can’t go into ‘life’ and hack it. There are no shortcuts or tricks in life. You live it. There’s no coding for life. What is, is. Simple as that. Any little technique you discover to make one little bit of your life easier is NOT a hack. Martha Stewart was not sharing ‘hacks’ with us. She just had some advice to make your Christmas dinners more elegant. We must stop using this word at once! Or I may have to go to the other definition of hack that is more associated with hatchets.