Gay Parents In Risque Occupations

Hello
I recently read an article that tackled the issue of gay men and couples who would like to have kids and they are in, what the article describes as, risqué professions. Now let’s lay our cards on the table here. I’m gay myself, and I am by no means pure as the driven snow, so I’m not passing any kind of criticism of these peoples’ lives. I just had a little problem with the article. More accurately due to how shallow and incomplete it was.
First, the main references in this article were Michael Lucas, of porn fame. The ‘writer’, director, performer and producer of what some could argue are the toppest tier gay porn in the industry today and some bodybuilder by the name of something Melvin. I don’t know. I guess he’s some big deal or something, but he didn’t look like no bodybuilder to me. He was lean and he had a great body and handsome as the day is long, but bodybuilder? Eh. Anyway, I don’t know much about him. I guess he had some nude pics leaked, and now he’s leaking them himself, loud and proud.
The article compared these men wanting to have kids to Playboy models and strippers wanting the same thing. My first issue with the article. How can you make that comparison? Playboy models just pose nude. They don’t actually have sex with anyone on camera and strippers just take their clothes off. Maybe some are porn stars and do have sex on camera, but I hold the same reservation about straight porn stars having kids as gay porn stars. And it’s not about the sex. If I may proceed.
I have orbited around the porn industry here in the good old San Fernando Valley for a long time. I’m not saying that drugs are the rule, but they certainly aren’t the exception. I met people who say that they had directed scenes with a performer who was bombed out on drugs and some who actually performed doped up real good. I have seen some of the porn stars party, both first hand and from eyewitness accounts, and it is as hardcore there as it is on the video screen. No one in the porn industry can look you in the eye and tell you they haven’t had encounters with at least a few types of drugs with a straight face. It’s just part of the culture and industry. Not everyone is an addict and I’m sure there are many who may slip into the exception column and haven’t touched so much as a joint, but I haven’t heard of any yet. In this party culture, it’s hard to compartmentalize your life and keep some aspects from spilling over into others. If it’s just you or you and your partner, you can deal with any drama, but if you have a kid in the mix? No. I can’t sign off on that. Maybe you can put those walls up and keep them safe, but in the case of raising kids, I fail on the side of caution and I seriously consider any cracks in the walls. Especially the cracks in Michael Lucas’ walls. He’s a big player and to get to that position in the industry, you have to play the game well and thoroughly.
Another point in the article these guys made was they wouldn’t raise their kids to be ashamed of their bodies and to be more sex positive. Okay. Fine. Of course, when you’re built like these guys, how could you possibly be ashamed of your body? Look like me and not be ashamed an then we can talk. ANYway, my point is I’m all for being open and honest about sex, at an appropriate age, but from the world of porn? No. Porn isn’t sex. It’s a twisted perversion of the act. It’s a plastic wrapped, choreographed fantasy that doesn’t exist in the real world, no matter how much we wish it did. There have been many studies that have found that porn can actually have a negative effect on ones outlook on sex.
If these guys really want kids, they would have to get out of the porn biz and separate themselves far enough from it so that their children wouldn’t be sucked into it. Children shouldn’t be exposed to a world where people just shed their clothes if they’re left alone for five minutes or just bored. They shouldn’t be in a home where dollars are rolled up into straws routinely. And as I said, these reservations I have are equal to hetero porn performers or any sex workers. Posing nude? Not thrilled, but it’s easy to block that out and keep your kids out of its path. Also, consider stalkers. People can become fixated on porn stars and I’m sure many of them have stalker stories. What if you had a kid and some psycho was lurking outside your home? The child shouldn’t be put in that position in the first place.
The bottom line is if you’re going to have a child and you work in the sex industry, such as it is, you really need to think of the best interests of the child. That’s really true in any situation, but more so here. If you really want that family, I see it as a choice between this career of yours and your child. If you have trouble making that choice, you’re not ready.

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#freebookfriday

TGIFBF! This week I offer “Something’s Always Wrong”, the second installment in the Jason Of The Valley series.

After the events of the previous year, Jason is on track to make his movie and reunites with his family. Matt is visited by an old friend from the past which puts a definite strain on his relationship with Jason. Mike and Ivan are enjoying their first year anniversary trip to Europe, until Ivan’s mother shows up and deals a blow that transforms their relationship in a most unexpected way and Ben befriends a new tenant in the building and discovers a connection he was not anticipating. Jason and his friends return for another round of tears and laughter, as well as the surprise wedding everyone’s been waiting for but never thought they’d see. It’s another slice of life and love in The Valley.


Good Bye Porn

It seems the porn industry is setting up to leave Los Angeles for the bright vistas of Las Vegas because of their dispute with a voter approved law requiring male performers to wear condoms. I’ve never quite understood the big deal over this issue. I mean, wear a damn condom! It keeps the person(s) you’re in the scenes with safe and you as well. And considering all the cases of performers coming up positive with HIV in the past couple years, I’d think this wouldn’t have had to become a law. Some would argue the number of cases are so few that it’s not even that big a problem, but talk to the person who now has to live with this disease for the rest of their lives. Ask them if it’s a big problem. Some prominent figures in the porn industry have claimed that regulation already in place is enough. I don’t think that it is. We have just heard of the cases of HIV infection, but we don’t hear about incidents with other STDs and I am certain there are plenty. I have read articles that state that the watchdogs of the industry are not quite as vigilante as they lead us to believe, and this causes a public health hazard.

Let’s also not forget the number of ‘gay-for-pay’ male performers out there. They keep their gay enterprises on the DL and may engage in high risk behavior. They don’t tell anyone and they knowingly go into a situation where they could transmit something they may not know they have to someone else. Many performers also offer private services to interested parties and still more chances for disease to be spread if not detected. It’s called taking responsibility for your actions. All adults have to do it and you are not immune. You don’t like wearing condoms? Well, you know, everyone hates something about their job and considering your job is having sex, I’d say putting on a condom is barely an inconvenience. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. The only other argument I can think they’d offer would be the expense of the condoms themselves, but are condoms really that expensive? I mean, you can go to Costco and get a jumbo box of condoms for less than 20 bucks.

People who work with hazardous materials must wear protective clothing on the job. In this case, that protective clothing is a condom. If construction workers, doctors, and others have to do it, why shouldn’t they? What makes them so damn special? The kicker here is I’m sure that this condom law thing is just going to follow the industry where ever it goes. It’s a common concern for many and even in Vegas. They know how to party, but I’m sure they also know how to stay safe so as to ensure many years of partying. If you don’t want to wear a condom in your private life, that’s your business, but if you’re in a professional environment you aren’t playing by your rules. The porn industry has been constantly asserting that it is a professional industry, but when they are called upon to act as such, they pitch a fit and act like children. This is why I have little respect for the industry as a whole, but I don’t want to get into that here. I’d be up until sunrise on that topic.

In the long run, it’s not a big deal. The porn industry is kind of dwindling down anyway with the influence of the internet and this new development could be the nail in the coffin, so to speak, because if they’re going to pull up stakes each time a state forces them to wear condoms, they’re going to run out of states at some point and they can’t really afford to play that game. Foreign markets are moving in and there are other cities in the US with booming porn scenes. I have noticed a lot of product coming out of Florida, which is currently being targeted for this condom law as well. And  with Florida? That is going to happen.