Rules Of The American Douche Bag 3

In out last installment we discussed how the ADB is charitable enough to share the essence of what they are with the rest of the world via spitting, today begins an examination of the vehicular traits of the ADB.

Principle #3

Go ahead and take that extra space.–

We’ve seen it a thousand times. Someone parked over the line in such a way that their car takes up two spaces. Sometimes they are straight in sitting over the middle lines, or they are parked diagonally with the rear end in one space and the front end in the other. Well, of course it makes us angry, but who can blame them? They have to protect those sweet rides. Whether it’s a brand new Mercedes SUV or a beat up pick up truck, that is a grade A piece of machinery and any measures taken to protect it are justified. Just by being owned by an ADB, that car is more valuable than yours, even with your kids inside of it. They are the brave pioneers who discovered this revolutionary method by which to protect their cars from us thoughtless peasants.