Oh, the thoughts that run through my brain. It’s endless. Once upon a morning drive I was thinking about the status of my writing career. Something that’s on my mind a lot. I realize that I can’t do anything else. I hate every job I get. It’s not that they are bad jobs, they just aren’t what I want to do. No job is. I want to be a writer. That’s all I want to be and I won’t apologize for that. I know there are millions out there with that same dream and I can’t say that my wishes are more or less important than theirs. I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about a singular vision and focus that I’ve never had in my life until I started writing.
I think the biggest tragedy over the failure of my writing is that I haven’t failed at it. I am a good writer. I have written scripts, novels, stage plays, commercials, short stories, ad copy, etc. and I have gotten enough feedback and reviews that tell me I am indeed good. I may not be the best, but I think if I had more of the world’s attention, I would be up among the top sellers. I want to be a writer and I am a good writer, but I am a failure and only because I failed at promoting.
I know that so many people say that today’s writers NEED to be promoters. I say bull$hit to that. Writers write and promoters promote. Sound like two different things to me. I am a writer. A pure, old school writer. I write. I tell stories. I create characters. I plot. I scheme. After all of that work I am expected to take up the task of promoting as well? In case you haven’t ever looked into it, promoting is a whole over full time job and beyond. I just hate it that I am a failed writer not because I failed at writing, but because I failed at something I never wanted to do ever. I’m not a promoter. I never wanted to be one. It’s not who I am. It’s not a skill you can just pick up. These people who promote are super skilled and are capable of things you can’t even imagine. New respect for them. It’s a thankless job, much like writing, and is not something just anyone can do. If I could afford to pay someone to do it for me, I would. Maybe one day I can learn enough to find some minor success but I doubt it. I’ve always been the one who gets ignored. I don’t have what one would call a magnetic personality. I’ve always been the ‘invisible man’. It seems no matter what I say no one hears. My numbers on FB are pathetic. I could say or write the most interesting/funny thing in the world and it would be like it never happened. If the universe is ignoring anyone, it would be me.