Failure

Oh, the thoughts that run through my brain. It’s endless. Once upon a morning drive I was thinking about the status of my writing career. Something that’s on my mind a lot. I realize that I can’t do anything else. I hate every job I get. It’s not that they are  bad jobs, they just aren’t what I want to do. No job is. I want to be a writer. That’s all I want to be and I won’t apologize for that. I know there are millions out there with that same dream and I can’t say that my wishes are more or less important than theirs. I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about a singular vision and focus that I’ve never had in my life until I started writing.

I think the biggest tragedy over the failure of my writing is that I haven’t failed at it. I am a good writer. I have written scripts, novels, stage plays, commercials, short stories, ad copy, etc. and I have gotten enough feedback and reviews that tell me I am indeed good. I may not be the best, but I think if I had more of the world’s attention, I would be up among the top sellers. I want to be a writer and I am a good writer, but I am a failure and only because I failed at promoting.

I know that so many people say that today’s writers NEED to be promoters. I say bull$hit to that. Writers write and promoters promote. Sound like two different things to me. I am a writer. A  pure, old school writer. I write. I tell stories. I create characters. I plot. I scheme. After all of that work I am expected to take up the task of promoting as well? In case you haven’t ever looked into it, promoting is a whole over full time job and beyond. I just hate it that I am a failed writer not because I failed at writing, but because I failed at something I never wanted to do ever. I’m not a promoter. I never wanted to be one. It’s not who I am. It’s not a skill you can just  pick up. These people who promote are super skilled and are capable of things you can’t even imagine. New respect for them. It’s a thankless job, much like writing, and is not something just anyone can do. If I could afford to pay someone to do it for me, I would. Maybe one day I can learn enough to find some minor success but I doubt it. I’ve always been the one who gets ignored. I don’t have what one would call a magnetic personality. I’ve always been the ‘invisible man’. It seems no matter what I say no one hears. My numbers on FB are pathetic. I could say or write the most interesting/funny thing in the world and it would be like it never happened. If the universe is ignoring anyone, it would be me.

 

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4 thoughts on “Failure

  1. Trying to get heard on FB today is a loosing proposition. I do photography – which FB likes a lot more than writing – and it still only reaches a handful of people who subscribe to my page.

    I know what you mean about promotion. I try to promote but then I feel awkward about talking about how amazing I am all the time. It sure isn’t anything that happens in real life.

    Promotion has to be on-message, and repetitive. If you’re creative you’re always looking for something new and different – it’s the exact opposite of what is needed for promotion.

    I don’t have a solution. I can only tell you that you are not alone. You’re problems are not because there is something wrong with you. Creative types all over the world are wondering why they are invisible too.

    When you find you peace, if you find your solution – then write about it. I’ll be here listening.

    Hugs – Michael

    • Thanks. I wish I were doing something more visual though. I have friends who paint and do photography and it seems that’s easier for audiences to process. They just have to look. Writing demands something of the reader. To read and people these days don’t have time for that, or that’s what I’m told.

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