Geek Out

Okay. It’s nerd rant time. First, to those who aren’t in the loop, DC comics rebooted their entire universe and refer to it as the New 52. This new continuity supposedly cancels out the old one, so basically 70+ years of history have been flushed down the toilet so they could repackage their characters in order to appeal to a younger demographic at the cost of quality of story and characters. Most obviously the history of the characters have become horribly muddled and distorted.

I’m not even sure where to begin, but I’ll try to make this as brief and as organized as I can manage. Let’s go. I’d like to use Batman and Superman as prime examples of the horror of the New 52 because its their continuities that are the most fractured. First thing to know is that in the New 52, it’s only been 5 years since the superheroes have showed up. Remember that. 5 years.

In this timeline, Superman is not the celebrated hero we know and love. He is hated and distrusted by the world at large, as are all other superheroes. Superman, who is invulnerable, now wears a suit of armor. My question here is if you’re invulnerable, why do you need armor? The suit has no other quality. It doesn’t have a computer on board to feed information or anything like that. Also, in this timeline, Doomsday never happened. My issue with that is Doomsday was the story that began a chain of events that brought us Steel and Superboy. If Doomsday never happened, how did those two come into being? I’m not sure about Steel, but I understand that Superboy is now some weird underground science project. Kind of like the previous origin, but not exactly and frankly, I think they got it right with the ’93 Superboy because he grew from a spoiled brat clone of Superman into a mature and capable hero in his own right. I also am pissed that the Clark/Lois relationship has been taken away. Now Superman is dating Wonder Woman. Wrong, wrong, wrong! Clark needs to be with Lois. By falling in love with a human, Clark was better able to truly understand the human condition and that made him a better hero. Superman with Wonder Woman makes sense on paper, but it’s like two gods mating and they really have nothing to offer the other because their view of the world is very similar. Lois gave Clark a real perspective of life.

Now Batman. This one is even more confounding to me. First, it’s only been 5 years, yet he has all his allies and villains in place. You mean to tell me he went through 3 Robins in just 5 years and Dick Grayson grew from teen boy wonder to Nightwing in just 5 years? And the way Batman interacts with the characters makes it seem like he’s known them and has been dealing with them for a lot longer than just 5 years. Most notably was the Joker. From their interactions, I can only assume all the crimes Joker has committed are still in place, yet somehow he squeezed all that horror into a mere 5 years. And then there’s Bane. Some mentions have made it clear that the Knightfall storyline still happened, yet that seems hard to  believe that Batman could  have amassed such an army of villains in such a short amount to time and have his back broken and recovered so quickly. Also in a current issue of Arkham War, Jim Gordon makes remarks that lead one to believe that the stories Contagion and Cataclysm also happened. That’s a lot to squeeze into just 5 years. And let’s not forget how other characters in the DC Universe were pulled into those stories. Where was Jean Paul Valley aka Azrael? Catwoman? Huntress? All part of the bat family and all integral parts of those stories yet missing or incompatible with New 52 history.

Now DC is doing something called Zero Year which is basically Batman before Year 1, I guess. I haven’t really been very interested in reading this one. It, like everything else in the New 52, makes no sense. They gave Bruce a buzz cut which I find baffling because if this is pre-year 1 batman, what happened to the buzz cut, because clearly he eventually grows it out, according to the first 23 issues of the new Batman title. From what I have gleaned from paging through the issues, it seems like Zero Year is supposed to fill in the blanks of Batman’s history, but are we to believe that he met and engaged with all of his enemies in just one year? When the comic first started back in the 1940’s, it took Batman years to build his rogues gallery, yet they’re trying to cram them all in at once now. I’m just sick of all this backtracking and revising of history. The editors at DC should have figured all these details out before they launched this campaign because while they may not care, the readers do.

They don’t know if Clark Kent’s parents are alive or dead, as they have not yet been seen in any story. The time doesn’t make sense. In a recent issue of Batman/Superman they were talking as though they had been working together for decades, yet they’ve only known each other for 5 years. Also, Superman is now a bratty, whiny fool instead of the proud, strong and stalwart hero he was intended to be. He’s immature and throws little temper tantrums. In that same issue of Batman/Superman, Batman informs Superman he doesn’t need any help when he clearly does. The Superman I know would just go ahead and help, but this one scrunches up his nose and flies off being mad and thinking, ‘If he doesn’t want my help, fine.’ What? That’s not a Superman response. The point of a hero is to do what must be done despite nay sayers or anything else. The point of a hero is to do what is right. Plain and simple. Superman would never leave a friend in need, whether he was told to do so or not.

I also think the omission of the Justice Society of America is a real sucker punch. Those characters came from the golden age and were around during WWII. They had a real cultural importance. They also showed that even though they were older, they were still formidable heroes. DC’s answer to this was to create an Earth 2 and they brought back the JSA, but as younger and edgier. I always thought the reason comic book characters were older was because back then, the kids would regard an older authority figure with respect and would take the lessons of selflessness and doing right to heart. By making the heroes their peers, the kids are less likely to pick up on these traits.

I know the fan boys are eating this New 52 up like pigs at the trough, and the talent over there is bright and a lot of it looks really good, but I miss my old DC universe. I miss Superman sans armor. I liked the characters as they were because they showed their evolution and development over the years of adventures. Let’s hope DC will see the light sooner than later and bring back our heroes.

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3 thoughts on “Geek Out

  1. I’m very fond of Steel too. When he appeared in Animal Man, my heart lightened.
    At present Animal Man is my favorite comic book, along with a Dark Horse series called simply X.

  2. Pingback: Musings of a Mild Mannered Man | 23 Absurdly Lame Things That Happened To Superman, Batman, And Robin

  3. Pingback: What I Bought This Past Week – The DC Books (Batman #25, Batman/Superman #5, Batman and Robin #25, Harley Quinn #0) (WARNING – SPOILERS) | Jyger's Rant

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