If I Could F#$& Seth MacFarlane, I’d Be Happy

Mr. MacFarlane is the perfect symbol of all my self loathing. I mean, there is no other person who has me split so perfectly. He’s handsome (ridiculously so) charming, talented and probably possessing other fine qualities known only to those who are close to him. On that level, I want him. On that level I like him. But then for almost those same exact reasons, I hate him just as passionately. He is so good looking. I think he was given more than his share in the looks department than he deserved and he is so charming and talented, he just skates around like the golden boy who can do no wrong. Even when he takes swipes of those who came before him and without whom he wouldn’t be enjoying the career he has profited from so greatly. People bend over backward to offer him everything they have. He cashes in millions at a time and there seems to be no end in sight for his success. I hate him for that.

What I hate most about that is I can’t blame luck on it either. I know he’s talented because I knew of him back when he was working under the Hanna Barbera banner. I know he’s worked hard and has earned his success. His rise has seemed to highlight my insecurities about myself. I’m not sure how old he is, but I’m willing to bet he’s younger than me and look where he is. I know it’s not healthy to compare yourself to others, but sometimes it’s hard to resist. You can’t help but think about what you’ve done with your life in the same amount of time as what someone else has accomplished with theirs. I can’t help but feel I missed something along the way. Some sign post on the road I didn’t see but now as I look back, I can see where to road forked, but I cannot see where that missed path would have taken me.

So, Mr. MacFarlane. If you read this. Come and get it.

What the…?

Okay. Must vent. I was just watching The Colbert Report and he spoke of something referred to as ‘dinosaur erotica’. For a second I thought he was joking, but then I dashed onto Amazon.com and checked and lo and behold, he was right. There are many books in this genre in fact. I’m not going to review them, as I will not read them, but much to my surprise, they are receiving praise. Mostly from people who think they’re a joke, which they might be, but they seem like they were written as real erotic novels, with dinosaurs.

What makes me mad is that these people are getting boatloads of orders for their books now because of this single moment in the spotlight. They crank out these short stories (19-20 pages per), sell them for 2.99 and now they’re laughing all the way to the bank, while I toil for months on one of my books and it’s like pulling teeth trying to publicize them and to get any sales. UUURRRGGGHHH!!! So is this the lesson? Write something so impossibly stupid no one will believe it’s real and you’ll succeed? It feels like at some point the whole world flipped over on its side and what I thought was true, hard work paying off and the rewards of effort, became false and now we reward those who put in the least amount of effort and work into their endeavors. Reality television rules the airwaves. The Kardashians don’t seem to be losing steam. People who generally choose the low, easy road win. It just feels like after every generation we dig ourselves deeper into this hole. We keep showing the generation after us that it’s best to take the shortcuts. Why work hard for years when you can have everything you want right now and all you have to do is betray everything you are? Until we start demanding better from the world, it’s only going to get worse. Keep in mind now we have television shows where you watch other people watching reality TV. You have shows where the content is just commenting on celebrities tweets about current events and other shows that just show videos from off the internet. If you think we can do better, then step up and let your voice be heard.

NEED FUNDERS NOW!!!

Hey,

It’s me again. We just got a lot of promo stuff up on FB and we’re getting a  good response, but we’re still far short of our goals. We need your help to get us there.

http://igg.me/p/541080

Just click on that link and donate something to the cause. Again, I must repeat, we are GIVING back some wonderful perks in exchange for the money. It’s kind of like buying original art. I hate begging like this, but frankly, this is only one of two things that were getting me through this year and if we don’t get our money, the dream dies. I won’t let that happen. If you don’t want to contribute, fine. Pass this link on to someone you know who might want to instead. Share this with anyone you can. I am imploring to you all. You all are my last chance because, shockingly my own friends have been stubbornly silent on this front. I apologize now for my bluntness in this, but I can’t help it. The pressure is on. Days, literally days are left before our campaign is up and we are so far behind, it’s not even funny. The bottom line is we need money and we need it fast. Click and share. Click and share. That’s all I’m asking.

http://igg.me/p/541080

Please and thank you.

Need Funders NOW!!!! Again

http://igg.me/p/541080

Hey! Just getting back on the fundraising trail today. We’re so close to our goals it’s crazy! Thanks to any who took the time to check out our campaign (links above and below) and double thanks to those who actually donated, Unfortunately, we need more and if you haven’t done so yet, look at our project and if you feel so inclined, make a contribution. Again, this is not simply giving money away. We are offering excellent perks to all level of donors. If you’ve ever wanted to take part in the production of a movie, now is your chance! Plus, depending on how well this short film goes, we may be going to a feature version and it could become big! I am imploring to you all out there to help. If you can’t contribute, maybe you could forward this link on to someone you know who would be interested. Pass it on and help us make this dream come true. So many people have put so much work into this already. I don’t want it all to be in vain. Please help!

http://igg.me/p/541080

Funders Needed NOW!!! pt 2

http://igg.me/p/541080

Okay. Starting to feel the pressure. Our deadline is just days away and we haven’t broken a thousand yet. In case you haven’t checked, I’d like to point out we’re offering a new perk now. A piece of original artwork. It looks really cool too, so if you’re into zombies you have to get onto our Indiegogo campaign and donate.

I really would like to achieve our goal. Not as much for myself but for the crew of people who have been working on this project since this past summer. They have really gotten into this and I know they are as excited about shooting this thing as I am. We’ve already put so much work into it, it would be a shame to fall short after coming so far.

So think about it. For the cost of a DVD, you can actually be part of the movie. You can have actually financed a film and own it. If you donate enough, you could even be IN the movie if you wanted. I implore again, follow the link above or below and check out our project and I hope after you do, you’ll be excited about being a part of it.

Thanks again

http://igg.me/p/541080

A New Low

I think Bravo has reached a new low in television. They now have a show called ‘The People’s Couch’ and I had only heard about it at first but today I had the sad misfortune to see a bit of it. Is this what we’re coming to now? A show where we watch other people watching reality television? Where did we go so far wrong?

I watch old shows from the past like ‘Friends’ and ‘Roseanne’ and ‘Fraiser’ and they still make me laugh. What happened? Why can’t we see shows like that anymore? It seems like the networks are telling the production companies to purposely water down their shows for some reason. It’s like they tell them to make bad shows in order to steer people toward reality TV shows. I don’t know. I just get depressed as I see the future of television becoming more bleak as the years go by. The shows are going down in quality and  the audiences are shrinking because of it. There are still talented people out there, but there’s something else holding them back. I have to admit even ‘Hot In Cleveland’ isn’t really all that good, at least not compared to a show like ‘Fraiser’ (which a lot of the production staff had come from before). There are a few genuine laughs and the actresses are highly appealing, but the wit and spark of the previous shows they had worked on is missing. I know they can pull it off, but for some reason it feels like they’re pulling their punches.  As if they are trying not to be too funny.

Remember when shows had theme songs? Remember when they ran the credits so you could actually read them? Maybe I’m just naïve, but I think the glory of the old days can be reclaimed, but we, the viewers, have to start demanding more from them. Don’t settle for another singing/dance competition show. Don’t watch a sitcom unless you really think it’s funny. Send a message that if you all in the biz want to keep pulling down those big paychecks, you’re all going to have to get back to work and earn them. I’m just sick of seeing people getting rewarded for taking the easy route, because clearly, quality suffers after too long.

Need Funders NOW!!!

http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/shelter–11

Hello all

I believe I spoke of this before, but it has come to my attention that my film project is still in dire need of funding and I am here begging (yes, begging) for your support in this. This project is very dear to me and basically was one of only two reasons to live for me right now. The challenge is I need at least fifteen people to donate at least $25 to the project. A link to the campaign is above and below. Now don’t think you’re just giving us this money. We have a large selection of perks to offer in exchange. It will be like buying a film on video, but not just any film. A film you made possible. And if we get this thing shot, I think it could be big. The script is solid (biased opinion, but still) and it contains a twist which I think will have people dropping their jaws. Help me achieve this dream. I realize it’s a lot to ask of people I’ve never met, but when something means this much to you, you’ll do just about anything to make it happen. Please consider this and thank you in advance.

http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/shelter–11

Link

My Short Film “Shelter”

Just click on the title of this article to go to an Indiegogo page featuring my newest project. I conceived and wrote a script entitled “Shelter” and now we’ve gotten to the stage where we’re actually going to shoot this thing. Follow this link to donate money to help us reach our goal for funds. There are certain ‘extras’ we’re offering depending on the donation. Case in point, for $250 you can actually BE a zombie in our movie! Check it out and if you can help out in any way, it would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.

New Television Season Report Card

Okay. We’re two weeks into the new TV season and I’ve seen what they have to offer. Here are my thoughts.

The first notable change this season is that CBS actually has some shows that I watch. Keep in mind, this is the first time I’ve made it a point to watch anything on CBS since the ’80’s. I like ‘Mom’ on Monday nights. The comedy isn’t terribly fresh, which is typical of a Chuck Lorre show, but with two very likable stars (Janney, Faris) the show has a charm and sometimes catches you with big laugh when you least expect it. Another program I’m enjoying this season on CBS is ‘The Crazy Ones’. I had seen trailers for this show at the movie theater and it looked promising and I was right. Robin Williams is in true form in his first television role since Mork. Sarah Michelle Gellar also shows definite comedy chops playing the sensible daughter to Williams’ out there dad. I have to admit so far I’ve only seen the first episode as I missed last week’s installment, but for me to give this much praise to a pilot episode speaks volumes, I think.

ABC is also winning in my eyes with its Tuesday night shows. ‘The Goldbergs’ is at times uneven, but ultimately a very enjoyable show with a cast that seems to really work together and they create a sincere family vibe. I love the actress who plays the mother. I’m sorry, but I can never remember her name, but I remember her best as Clementine on ‘Reno 911’. She has always been so funny in whatever she’s put in and this show is no exception. She hits all the high notes of the TV mom. Her passive aggressive rage hidden behind that sugary sweet smile is classic. It’s also nice to see George Segal back and he is great as the eccentric grandpa. ‘Trophy Wife’ following is also a surprise  hit for me. I like the lead actress but I find that I’m really enjoying Marcia Gay Harden as well.  I was surprised to see her pop up as a regular on a sitcom as I remember her from movies and only guest starring roles on some dramatic shows. The show is funny but doesn’t try too hard to impress and in that it succeeds.

Wednesday nights still belong to ABC as far as I’m concerned. ‘The Middle’ is maintaining its charming humor and even with one of the kids heading off to college, they are still managing the family dysfunction as good as ever. This show has always been a consistent favorite of mine and continues to be. ‘Back In The Game’ did not impress me the first time out, but last week I felt myself warm to it a bit more. While not a new favorite, I guess I can hang on and see how it develops. Do I need to say anything about ‘Modern Family’ other than friggin’ brilliant? I love love love this show so much and it just gets better with every season. The season premiere episode alone proves it is the show to beat this season. ‘Super Fun Night’ premiered last week and while it was a bumpy introduction, I walked away liking it. Rebel Wilson has always made me laugh and this show seems to be a great showcase for her to truly shine. I have high hopes for this show, but I have a feeling it may have more of a cult following.

On Thursday night, ‘Parks And Recreation’ returns with another stellar season. I got into this show two season ago and I have really fallen in love with it. Amy Poehler has always been a favorite of mine and this show has placed her in the midst of a cast that adds to everything in every scene.

Now for the low points. ‘Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.’ left me wondering what all the hype was about. I actually found it rather boring. I just can’t help but thinking about all the superheroes and supervillians running around in their world that we don’t see. How can these people be dealing with these issues on this level and not cross paths with even a third string bad guy? They make enough references to The Avengers and other Marvel characters, but it’s like watching a Disney show  but never seeing Mickey.

I haven’t really been able to get into ‘The  Michael J. Fox Show’. I don’t know why, but I just can’t really connect with it. I guess maybe because the premise is really so tired and worn out. Another family comedy. Great for them to deal with Parkinsons issue rather than avoid it, but that’s not quite enough to make this one stand out. Another disappointment was ‘Sean Saves The World’. I was looking forward to this one too but when I watched it, the humor was flat and I really checked out when they tried to save the thing with some poorly executed physical comedy.  It’s great a gay single dad has made it into the prime time line up, but hopefully next time they could also make him funny. It’s not my final judgment. I’ll give it a chance, but I gotta tell you, they better get their act together. Even Thomas Lennon, as Sean’s crazy boss, failed to impress.

I have just gone over the shows I’ve actually watched. I did not watch any shows on Fox or The CW, although I am aware of some of their ‘hits’. I avoid The CW because I really don’t care for shows based on young adult novels and so far that seems to be all they have to offer, and while the returning shows on Fox up holding up (The Simpsons, Bob’s Burgers, etc) This ‘Sleepy Hollow’ nonsense had me turning away when they made the  horseman one of the riders of the apocalypse and now they’re pulling American history into it and basically taking a huge B.M. all over it. For me, I think it’s disrespectful to take actual historic events and add some substory that makes it a part of their stupid story. Couldn’t they have created a fresh and original story for the show? I mean, really. What are these writers getting paid for anymore?

Okay Rant over. Bottom line, ABC is a good bet most nights of the week. I’m waiting on NBC to bring back Community (I heard they got renewed and it may be a weird show, but I like it.) in order to fill out their Thursday night line up, but whatever you choose to watch this season, enjoy and try to avoid the reality shows. Let’s do what we can to put an end to that.